Many moons ago (and I mean many) I learned of a new reality that would forever change my life. I had been with my boyfriend (now husband) for several years and a year after getting married, I found out I was expecting the little Lady Lana. Music to my ears yet the fear of this new adventure hit me hard. I knew I was ready, I mean I’ve wanted this for such a long time; I was always day dreaming of the day it would happen. I also knew that my husbands childhood health issues, could and might have prevent us from getting pregnant earlier. We had countless long talks about IVF & adoption. We agreed that if nothing happened naturally for us by the time I was 30, that we’d give IVF a shot. If nothing happened there, we’d start the adoption process, which I had already started researching – just in case. Did I mention I wasn’t even 25 yet and I already knew this wasn’t going to be an easy road for us?

Back to the story.. A year after getting married, we had our girl, Kyrlana. I was 28 when I found out I was pregnant with her – two years before our agreed deadline. I went crazy! I was bursting with excitement and fear and love and was plain emotional throughout the entire pregnancy.

If I could become a parent without any medical assistance, then wasn’t it possible to conceive again without the help of doctors? I was sure it would happen for us again. At first it was no big deal that I hadn’t become pregnant a year after having Lana. I mean it was just one year.. then two.. then three.. On Lana’s 4th birthday, as I watched her have the time of her life – it hit me that this was it, this was my family and why was I sad when I was so extremely lucky to have what I have. Why was I constantly wishing for a bigger family? “Just one more and I’ll stop trying”, I swore to myself. Yet, on her 4th birthday I realized that she is my everything.

She is this spunky, cool, amazing, fun, adventurous, crazy, funny, beautiful, intelligent little lady and I was going to live the rest of my life watching her grow and become a beautiful young woman who will undoubtedly follow her dreams and live out loud. I knew then that I would stop trying. My husband and I are really very happy with what we have and not recognizing that has been a fault of ours.

That was over a year ago and I’m happy with where we are today. Kyrlana is now 5 and I’m so very proud of her. I’m loving who she is becoming and how fast she is growing & learning. I make sure to let her become her own person – to not live through her. She’s my girl and I want her to be proud of who she is and the choices she makes. I don’t want to mold her into a mini me – I want her to be 100% herself. I think most parents want that for their children. I know I want that for mine.

Life is an amazing thing. You can plan for some things but you can’t plan for everything. For example, who would have known that I was already 4 months pregnant with Baby #2 on Lana’s 5th birthday? I know I was most shocked of all. Baby number two?! YES!! Baby Number Two!! I’m PREGNANT!! Not only am I pregnant.. I’m due NEXT MONTH!!

I held on to this exciting secret for as long as I could and only started telling friends at the beginning of April. I wanted to be sure that the baby was healthy and that this wasn’t a high-risk pregnancy the way it was with Lana. I wanted to be sure that this was really happening. I wanted be sure that … that we really were going to have another child. Yup, we are. We know the sex and we have names (one my husband is really trying to get me on board with – we’ll see!) but those two things will have to wait until the birth. I still can’t believe I’m saying “I’m pregnant” – and I still can’t say it without tearing up. This baby has been something else. What a little kicker! Morning, noon & night – I’m getting beat up left and right and talk about sleepless nights! When my husband puts his hand on the baby, the baby gives it a kick like Lana used to do when she was in there, except with more precision and more ‘kick’. Lana is going to love playing with this little one. The Little Traveler. Runs marathons through the night and all through the day, never tiring out or taking a break. I’ve got my work cut out for me and I’m loving every second of it.

And you know what? We’re not even ready. Can you believe I’m saying THAT? Not ready and still in shock. I don’t know why I put off getting a crib and car seat, baby clothes and other necessities. Maybe I wasn’t sure this was really happening? Well, we’re on our way to getting everything we need now. There are so many neat & cute things out there for babies these days that it’s easy to get sidetracked and start looking at the things you don’t really need yet. I have the crib picked out – I just have to go pick it up. I have all the baby clothes I’ll need for the first month but I haven’t picked out which cloth diapers to use yet. I have all the baby blankets I’ll need but I haven’t picked up burp clothes or socks. We’re getting things in order slowly but our time is running out, the baby is almost here! I decided against a baby shower for this little one because the shower I had for Lana was a bit stressful for me and even though I loved seeing everyone there, I wasn’t comfortable. Lana was just too active that night for me to really enjoy it. That doesn’t mean that our awesome and amazing friends & neighbors didn’t surprise us with several sweet things for the Little Traveler. I’m so grateful to have such awesome people in my life. I really am very fortunate to have the friends I have. I’m lucky to have a very hard working husband who does more than just provide for our family (and the long-term in-law house ‘guests’ – going on 6 years), but also takes his well deserved days off to take us out exploring. He’s quite the superman ;)

Updates to come as they develop. :)

I hope this explains my absence :-)